How to Hold Healthy Boundaries With Family During the Holidays

For many people, the holiday season brings a mix of joy and stress, so it’s a good time to check in with your mental health. Alongside the celebrations, there can be family pressure, emotional triggers, and old patterns that resurface, especially around boundaries.

Even when you’ve set clear limits, it’s common for others to question or push past them, leaving you feeling guilty, overwhelmed, or unsure of yourself. But it’s important to remember that boundaries are not only important; they are a form of self-care.

Not sure how to hold boundaries when a family member tries to push past them? Here’s our helpful guide for holding boundaries during the holiday season.

Pause

When someone challenges your boundary, the first and most supportive thing you can do is pause. Before reacting, give yourself a moment to breathe and recognize what’s happening. In your mind, name that this is a moment where someone is trying to change your boundaries. That short pause helps you respond with intention rather than emotion.

Remember your why

It’s also helpful to remind yourself why you set the boundary in the first place. Whether you’re protecting your time, your emotional well-being, or your energy, your boundary has a purpose. Reconnecting with that purpose can steady you when someone tries to push you away from it.

Restate your boundaries

Sometimes you might need to restate that boundary to challenging individuals. When you need to restate a boundary, you don’t have to overexplain or defend yourself. Simple, calm language, such as “That doesn’t work for me” or “I’m going to stick with my plan,” can be enough. Consistency helps communicate that your boundary is not up for negotiation, even if someone hopes it might be.

Create space

Sometimes boundary pressure continues, and that’s when creating space becomes an act of self-care. You might step outside for a breath of fresh air, move to another room, take a walk, or even choose to leave an event early. Physical and emotional distance can help settle your nervous system and bring clarity back into the moment.

Take care of guilt

It’s also important to acknowledge that guilt might show up after you set a boundary. Many people feel guilty when they stick to their boundaries, especially around family or long-standing traditions. Guilt is not a sign you’re doing something wrong; it often just means you’re doing something new. You can feel that guilt and still hold on to the choice that supports your well-being.

Self-validate

Most importantly, take a moment to appreciate the strength it takes to protect your needs during a season that often demands a lot. Make sure you are doing the right thing to protect yourself and your family. Holding a boundary, especially when it’s challenged, is an act of self-respect and emotional courage.

Remember, setting boundaries is not only important; it’s an act of self-care. So take care of yourself this holiday season.

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Calm Mind Therapy is a boutique mental health practice located in Ardmore, PA, specializing in the care of children, adolescents, and adults. Our mission is to provide the Main Line with high-quality mental health services for all ages. Our goal is to help our clients achieve emotional well-being and build a life worth living. Serving clients in Ardmore, Bryn Mawr, Wynnewood, Narberth, Radnor, Lower Merion, Haverford, Havertown, Villanova, Swarthmore, Devon, Berwyn, Malvern, Bala Cynwyd, and more.